The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
