Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize