$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
