I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
