Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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