So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
