It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
