Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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