dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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