ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
