just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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