Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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