dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
