Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
