you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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