You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
