my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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