In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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