I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
