My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize