was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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