Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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