I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
