I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
