Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
