i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
