Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
