If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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