White coat. Heels.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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