You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Randomize
