he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You're earring is so big in my mouth
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You took a bar mat shot.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All the doctor said was why
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
