So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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