before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
