i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
