Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
