I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize