If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
