you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
