Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's always time for handjobs
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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