yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
