i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
