in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
