I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize