i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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