and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize