We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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