apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just high enough for therapy.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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