It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
