If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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