Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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