he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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