I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
