This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
