I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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