it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just pee around me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
