I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
