I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
