Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
