don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
