My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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