I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
